Monday, July 31, 2006

What's Your Body Telling Others?

Last time I spoke about open-ended questions. How they can help, you get others to open up to you more. However, that is a part of the whole picture. There are many reasons that people will close up to you. One of the reasons is that you can be sending them messages that you don’t really want to talk to them by your body language.

It has been proven that people pay more attention to your body language than they do the words you are saying. If you say that you are happy, but your arms are crossed and your head is down, people will not believe you. If you state that you are fine, but you are grimacing, those around you won’t believe you. If you say that you want to talk, but you are tense and your body is pointing away from the other person, they will believe that you don’t really want to talk to them.

When people are listening to you, what they believe is divided into the following:

7% your words,
38% your tone and
55% your body language.

So the next time you talk to someone, stop and look into a mirror or ask someone, how you are being portrayed.


All the Best!
Maria Boomhower
The Master Communicator
Communication Mastery
Communication Mastery Articles


P.S. Like what you're reading,
you'll love the book,
"Overcoming Barriers to Communication"

It's an interactive manual that takes you through the steps to help
you overcome
challenges in communicating and connecting with others.
Overcoming Barriers to Communication

Have a great week!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Do others give you quick short answers?

People have said, "Maria, I try to get (John or Jane) to talk to me, but all I get are short or quick answers. There seems to be no substance to the conversations."

Now this is more common with talking to teenagers, something I have experienced myself. However, it can also happen with employees or even co-workers.

It can be very frustrating when you are trying to find out certain information you need to get a job completed, or even trying to build up a better working relationship.

Fortunately, there are ways to help you along. One of them is to look at the type of questions that you are asking. For example, a closed-ended question more often will bring you a short reply.

If you ask, "Have you got the outline for the project?" You many receive a quick "Yes" as a reply even though you were wanting the details.

Asking open-ended questions will lead you to more information in your conversations.

Instead of asking,
"Have you been working on the project?"
which could also get a Yes. Try asking.
"Tell me about what you have accomplished on the project".

Instead of,
"Did you like the project",
try,
"What about the project did you think was good."

There are many more examples that we could go over. The first part is to ask yourself. How have I been approaching people.
Try out this way of approaching people and take note of the answers that you receive.

All the Best!
Maria Boomhower
The Master Communicator
Communication Mastery
Communication Mastery Articles


P. S. Check out this weeks,
Golden Falcon Recommends
Discover the communication connection and learn how you can overcome challenges in communicating and connecting with others.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Speaking in Absolutes

When we start to pay attention to how we talk to another person,
we may find that we use the words always or never.

For example, if we say things like:

Women always get emotional
Men never understand women.
People of ____ race (fill in blank), never work hard.
Employees always waste time in meetings.

This almost certainly brings out the defenses in the other person.
It brings in generalizations and hurts those who definitely don't fit those categorizations.

In essence, you are saying that your thought or opinion is absolutely correct and there is no room for argument.
Others can then feel threatened or angry at your statements.
There own beliefs and attitude are now put on the line for debate and scrutiny.

They may feel attacked by your statement and stop listening to anything that you may say.
Which ultimately stops communication.

Using words like some or sometimes keeps the doors of communication open. It enables you to have a discussion about your thoughts and solutions to be worked out. Moreover, that's when success comes in.

Also, the above examples are negative which also can close down communication, but that's another article.

All the Best!
Maria Boomhower
The Master Communicator
Communication Mastery
Communication Mastery Articles


P.S. Have you check out this weeks:
Golden Falcon Recommends
"Don't Let it Pass You By"

P.S.S If you like what you're reading in this
newsletter, you'll love the book,
"Overcoming Barriers to Communication"

It's an interactive manual that takes you through the steps to help
you overcome challenges in communicating and connecting with others.
Overcoming Barriers to Communication



Have a great week!