Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Did I Answer Your Question?

this is an audio post - click to play

There are three types questions that I received the most.
Information overload, judgmental people
How to handle uninvited comments

Todays question deals with the 3rd.


You are the expert at communication so perhaps you could explain to me why it is only women who tell another woman she looks tired?

Why do woman say this to other woman? I don't believe it is out of concern. For that matter why does anyone feel the need to tell me how I look. Don't they know I know how I look. I also get you look sad, you look mad, you look stressed, you look lost, you look great ok, that is what the men say.......

I have other lady friends and associates who tell me they get the " you look tired" thrown in their face all the time just like I do. could you please explain this and possibly pass it on to all your leads that telling a woman she looks tired is NOT a compliment and makes about as much sense as asking, "Are you pregnant?"

Thank you so much

Hi Barbara,

There can be several reasons why people do something and I would have to see an example to give a more accurate reason. However, there are some basic reasons.

Most often people will reflect on to another person, how they are feeling at the moment. Therefore, there is a good chance, their remark is what they are feeling. (Tired, mad, stressed, lost, etc.)
Most psychologist and metaphysicians state that you cannot see in another, what you don’t already hold in yourself.

Another reason, is that a surprisingly large number of people feel insecure about themselves and or their abilities. It seems to help them to notice what isn’t right about the other person so that they can feel better about themselves.

Some people are just looking for a distraction and if you start talking about your situation, it gets their mind on something else.

Of course there is also the negative people out there who always seem to be looking for what is wrong in any situation or other people, and they generally believe they find it, even if it isn’t there.

For many of these people, if you smile and say, "Really, well pull up a chair and give me a hand", you will find that they vanish in a hurry and are careful not to mention it again.

Why more women, one reason is that if it is a non-conscious attack, (or even consciously for some) more women do it on a more passive-aggressive level. It is easier for them to then say, "I was only wanting to know if you were ok." Or some similar remark.
And of course a "Sorry for caring" remark just to get that last jab in.

However, I have noticed that there are more kind and caring people in the world than the negative. It helps to focus more on the positive people and stay away from the others. Some people do really care and like to help others.

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All the Best!
Maria Boomhower
The Master Communicator
"Command Attention & Confidence"
Communication Mastery

Thursday, November 17, 2005

What I Learned From My Trip

this is an audio post - click to play

I have seen people go on trips and then complain about what they didn't get, yet saw others including myself through communication acheive what we wanted.

For example:
When we arrived at the Caymen Islands, it was raining that day, it was still warm though.
When we went ashore, we were told that most of the tours had been canceled due to the rain. Several people moaned and went back to the ship, some went into the town and shopped.
However, the group I was with, we asked if we could create a new tour, we didn't mind the rain and we aquired rain ponchos.
The guide said sure, as long as we were willing. I had a great time.
We went to a place called Hell, Conche House, A Rum Factory, A Turtle Farm and more. Check out some of what we would have missed if we hadn't spoken up and communicated our desires.

Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands

Conch Shell House

Turtle Farm

Returning to the Ship

There is also communicating with yourself and I did that at Jamacia
I always wanted to ride a horse and one of the tours was horseback riding in the ocean and through the country. I told myself to go for it.
I had a great time. Sunburnt but a great time.


Heading into the water

I also met and got to know some wonderful people and others that I met before, I was able to get to know them even better, through talking with them. When you know how to communicate it removes the fear of approaching people and you build lasting friendships with them.

Joe Vitale & Tom Beal
Also check out Joe Vitale's Blog and see the video of
What Happened on the Ship Halloween Night?!

Brad Fallon

Mike Filsaime

Oh, when we got back to Miami, I went to the Everglades, I was offered a tour of the Everglades before heading back to the airport. I said yes and even held on to an alligator.

Just remember that you miss all opportunities that you don't take.
Learn the communication skills, speak up and get to know people.
The rewards will amaze you.

P.S. Are you asking,
"Why doesn't anyone understand me, if only they would just listen."
Then we can help you.
It helps you know why, when after you have said something, the other person totally misunderstands you.
"Grab a copy of:"
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Next week, find out if its your question that I answer.

All the Best!
Maria Boomhower
The Master Communicator

Thursday, November 10, 2005

The phaonmneal pweor ot the hmuan mind!

this is an audio post - click to play

Last week was an exciting adventure for me.
I got to know some wonderful people on the cruise
and made friends with some very influential people.
It is amazing what you can accomplish when you know how to communicate.
You get to realize just how many wonderful people are out there.
I will go into more details as soon as I catch up on my sleep.

For this week I have something special for you.
Here's something to help you see how amazing our brains are at communication.

We are able to read what appears to be garballygook and still understand.

The phaonmneal pweor ot the hmuan mind!

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd wahl I was rdanieg.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigd Uinervtisy,
it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the Itteers in a wrod are,
the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the trist and Isat Itteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sill! raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey Iteter by istlet,
but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

Yaeh and we awlyas thought and were tgauht slpeling was ipmorantt.


P.S. If you like what you're reading in this ezine,
you'll love the book,
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Answer the questions; Why doesn’t anyone understand me?
Why do I have such a hard time getting my message across?.
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All the Best!
Maria Boomhower
The Master Communicator
"Command Attention & Confidence"