Thursday, April 14, 2005

GOSSIP

Sadly, one of the fastest ways to communicate or get a message across is to gossip or to tell someone that it is gossip.
Gossip is one of the most destructive forces in nature. It has torn apart innocent lives and caused the breakdown of many businesses.
It destroys trust and creates fear.
Many people are afraid to speak up against a gossiper in fear that they might be the next target. Yet, when we don't take a stand, we are contributing to continued use of gossip.

Those that like to gossip don't realize that they are hurting themselves as well as the person that they are talking about.
Many times they are doing it to cover up their own insecurities, instead of resolving them. Some will say that they aren't gossiping and will come out with somethings like, Did you hear what so and so is saying about....

They try to justify that it is the other person doing it and they are only showing what is being said. However, they are just as much a part of it.
Many times we contribute to the gossip by what we do or don't do, yet if we want to have a healthy trusting environment to work and live in, we must be part of the solution.

Then we can grow, prosper and attract like minded people into our lives,
instead of those that would hurt or harm others.

There are many ways to deal with negative and gossiping people.
Joe Vitale in his new book 'The Attractor Factor' showed how
Socrates' would deal with gossipers.
(Paraphrased)
When someone wanted to tell him something, he would stop them and ask three questions.
1.What you are about to tell me, do you personally know it to be true.
2. Is is about someone you personally know.
3. Is it positive or negative.
He would then say, so you want to tell me something, that you don't personally know to be true about someone you don't really know and it is negative. Then I will pass.

I also read a story about a Buddha who sat quietly while a person insulted him. Once the man was done, the Buddha looked at him and said, "Sir, if a man offered another person a gift and the gift was refused, to whom would the gift belong?"
"Why the person that offered it", reply the man.
"Then", said the Buddha "I respectfully decline your offer of abuse and you may keep it for yourself."

To read about Socrates' in Joe Vitale's book go to:
Spiritual Marketing

Discover Your GQ-- 'Gossip Quotient'
Gossip: Ten Pathways to Eliminate It from Your Life and
Transform Your Soul
To take the quiz go to:
http://www.endgossip.com/book.html
Bob Burg ( http://www.burg.com ) is author of 'Endless Referrals' and 'Winning Without Intimidation: How to Master the
Art of Positive Persuasion in Today's Real World'

P.S. If you like what you're reading in this
newsletter, you'll love the book,
"Overcoming Barriers to Communication"

It's an interactive manual that takes you through the steps to help
you overcome challenges in communicating and connecting with others.
Overcoming Barriers to Communication

Have a great week!
All the Best!
Maria Boomhower
The Master Communicator
www.falconfreedom.com

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